


just one smoke

by melanchole



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Nara Shikamaru-centric, Team 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24839683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanchole/pseuds/melanchole
Summary: In which Shikamaru goes out after celebrating Mirai’s first birthday with Kurenai and Team 10. He has a smoke while watching the night sky and begins to talk to his sensei watching from up there.
Relationships: Sarutobi Asuma & Dai-jippan | Team 10, Sarutobi Asuma/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	just one smoke

“Shikamaru,” Kurenai began, putting a hand on his shoulder before he stepped outside her apartment. “Thank you for joining us tonight. I know your schedule has been tight lately,” she says lovingly, smiling at him.

“Ah, wouldn’t have missed it for anything. It’s her first birthday, after all.” He chuckled softly, looking back at the apartment where he saw Ino carrying Mirai as she tried putting her to sleep. Choji was trying to walk as quietly as he could towards the door where they stood.

“Visit whenever you can, alright? That goes for all of you.”

“I’ll visit when I get a day off, that’s for sure,” Choji said, smiling widely at Kurenai. She returned the smile and sighed. “Maybe I’ll even bring over barbecue.”

“Asuma would have loved to see this,” she said quietly, looking back at Mirai being put to sleep by Ino. She smiled, her eyes slowly brimming with tears. “It’s quite a family he’s made with the three of you.”

“We’re all family now, Kurenai Sensei,” Shikamaru replied.

“We’ll be here whenever you need us,” Choji added..

“Besides, Asuma Sensei won’t let us hear the last of it if we don’t stick around your kid,” Shikamaru joked, making Kurenai chuckle softly. Kurenai was sure Team 10 would be assigned to a babysitting mission had things gone differently. She was also sure that Asuma would offer to take care of the baby while Kurenai was out, then proceed to argue with Team 10 on who would change Mirai’s diaper. The thought was enough to push her tears to the brink, making them trickle down her cheek.

“That sounds like him.” She bowed her head, letting her tears flow freely.

Shikamaru and Choji looked at each other, narrowing their eyes in concern. Before it became too long before they reacted, Ino joined. The boys mentally thanked Ino for joining in while they mentally smacked themselves on the head for not knowing what to do at the moment.

“I did it! I put her to sleep!” Ino whispered excitedly before noticing Kurenai Sensei crying softly. “Kurenai Sensei?” She looked at the two boys and glared at them before walking closer to her to wrap her in a soft hug.

Choji heaved a heavy sigh, thinking of Asuma. He joined in the hug and rested his chin on Ino’s head. He inhaled sharply, suppressing his tears. Before they knew it, all four of them were wrapped in each other’s arms, giving comfort. Shikamaru tried his hardest not to let his tears escape his ducts, burying his head in Choji and Ino’s shoulder. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, forcing his eyes shut.

“Thank you,” Kurenai started softly. “Ino, Choji, Shikamaru.”

* * *

It was almost 10 PM by the time the three left Kurenai’s apartment. Down the road, the three went their own separate ways on their way home. Thoughts raced around Shikamaru’s head as he walked with his hands in his pockets, his neck hunched over. He fumbled with the lighter in his pocket. In his head, a vivid image of his late sensei flashed before his eyes. He stopped in his tracks, acknowledging the memory playing through his head.

_Asuma was sitting on a grassy hill with Shikamaru sitting beside him. They were laughing about something. He couldn’t exactly remember what it was they were laughing about, but it had Asuma with his neck thrown back, laughing at full volume. He recalled Asuma collecting himself after laughing, pulling a pack out of his pockets and trapping a cigarette between his teeth. Soon after being lit, Shikamaru looked at his sensei and shook his head, smiling._

_“You should really stop that someday,”_

_“Just as long as you don’t do it,”_

_“You know I hate the smell.”_

_Shikamaru swore to himself that it just wasn’t something he’d do. He’d like to try, but making it a habit wasn’t something he was in for. The smell always left a bitter look on his face anyway. He didn’t think he’d enjoy it._

That’s right. He always hated the smell of Asuma’s cigarettes. So much so that sometimes he—along with Choji and Ino—would over exaggerate their coughing just to try and make Asuma stop for a short while. It never really worked and Asuma just called them dramatic. But since his sensei’s death, the smell of cigarette smoke just made him feel closer and made it feel like his presence was still there.

Shikamaru smiled at the thought, taking out the lighter from his pocket. He continued walking, changing destinations in his mind.

It wasn’t too long before he reached the same hill he and Asuma were at in the memory he saw. He sat at the curve of the hill, sitting down on the grass. Asuma always watched the clouds with him when he was younger. Although, sometimes it seemed as though the clouds were just Asuma puffing out his smoke.

“I can practically hear you laughing at me from up there, old man,” Shikamaru jokes, rolling his eyes as he pulls a pack from his pocket almost the same way Asuma did years ago.

“Don’t worry. It’s just one smoke.” He lit the cigarette in his mouth and huffed out a few times before he laughed at himself quietly. His expression quickly changed.

“Asuma,” Shikamaru started. “So much has happened since the last time I went and talked to you. It’d be nice to share a smoke with you.” Shikamaru imagined Asuma getting annoyed at how he hasn’t spoken to him in a while. He pulled another stick from his pack and put it beside him before leaning back on his arm.

“Mirai celebrated her first birthday today. And I may have ruined it and made Kurenai Sensei cry. But I think I made it up with that hug.” He chuckled. He doesn’t hug a lot, but he wouldn’t really think twice of doing it for people he loved. “We were all thinking of you all throughout our early dinner, I think. Actually, I’m pretty sure we were. I really wish you could see Mirai now. Something about her just tells me she’ll be great.” He almost whispered the last sentence. “Now, don’t get all flattered up there and think it’s all just because of you. Kurenai Sensei alone already makes her insanely strong,” he joked. Again, he imagined Asuma laughing at his remark.

“Sorry I haven’t talked to you in awhile. It’s been pretty busy around here in Konoha so I have a ton of shit assigned to me. It’s a drag, but I just know you’d call me a slacker again.” He exhaled. “Not that you’d be wrong. But duties are duties, so I do them anyway. They can be fun sometimes. It’s a pain having to work with other people other than Ino and Choji, but you know…” He suddenly recalled a past mission he had with Naruto. There isn’t much to say other than it was quite a mess.

“Ino and Choji are doing great. I guess I’ll let them update you on their own,” he notes, nodding his head. “There’s not much to say to say about me other than what I’ve already said or what you already know.” Shikamaru dug his brain for other things to tell Asuma since he didn’t know the next time he’ll be able to sit and talk again.

“Ah,” he starts, laughing at the event he dug from his mind. “Last month when I was on my way to change the flowers on your stone, Kakashi Sensei and Gai Sensei caught me on my way and told me I was starting to smell like you. Gai Sensei ended up accidentally calling me by your name for a short while when he sees me. It was a pain because I reacted anyway even if it wasn’t my name. I’m not so sure I deserve to be mistaken for you. It’s too high a praise. But I’m not so sure if smelling like you is a compliment. These cigarettes really do something to you, huh?” Shikamaru sat up straight, then hung his head low as memories of Asuma rushed back to him.

“Besides,” his voice cracked. He glued his eyes shut, refusing to allow himself to cry. “I don’t like the smell of your cigarettes, remember?” But that pushed him past his breaking point. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and killed off embers. He buried his head in his hands, trying to do his best to keep the tears from falling freely, but to no avail.

“Sensei, there’s so much I wish you could see now. So much I wish I could tell you. But fuck,” He felt his breath hitch on the lump forming in his throat. His hands balled into fists as he looked up to the night sky.

“IT’S UNFAIR!” he screamed in frustration. He looked down on the ground and hung his head low again. “It’s so fucking unfair.”

Before Shikamaru could go on, he saw Asuma in his head telling him to stop. He heaved a heavy sigh, feeling his chest get heavier. He breathed in and out calmly in an attempt to lighten the weight.

“It’s just,” he began. “You’re the reason I’m where I’m at now. I just want you to see what you’ve done for us.”

Shikamaru sat in silence for a while before chuckling to himself. He began to pull out the pack of cigarettes and Asuma’s lighter from his pocket again. He pictured Asuma’s shocked expression at his willingness to smoke another cigarette. He figured Asuma wouldn’t even believe he smokes now.

“I know I said it was gonna be just one smoke.” He lit the cigarette. “Don’t be laughing up there. Imagining you making fun of me for smoking now is making me want to undo all the cigarettes I’ve smoked.”

He huffed and puffed a few times before inhaling deeply and looking back up.

“I know I said I hate the smell, but there’s a few more things I want to tell you. One more won’t hurt, no, Sensei?”


End file.
